She Says

by Grace Crawford

All Moulin Rouge! images courtesy of Bazmark Films, Angel Studios, and 20th Century Fox.

When I was fifteen, my school put on a production of Les Miserables (which, as you know, is one of my favourite stories of all time). It was my first year in musical theatre, and I was absolutely psyched—until they cast me as, and I quote, “Whore #3.” Obviously it was exactly the sort of role that every girl dreams about getting, and I didn’t even go home crying about how my teachers obviously thought I was a tramp or anything.

My point is, I was young and had no idea how to act like a hooker, which was necessary for the dock scene in Act 1. No, it wasn’t like I had to mount one of my male classmates on stage in front of a thousand strangers (one of the older girls got to do that), but I did have to gyrate like a deranged stripper with a feather boa. And as the stage manager informed me, I wasn’t slutty enough. So she told me to go home and watch Moulin Rouge!.

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He Says

by Thom Yee

Grosse Pointe Blank images courtesy of Buena Vista Pictures

Remember when you’d talk to your high school guidance counselor?  He’d ask you what you would do if you had a million dollars, if you didn’t have to work.  And invariably whatever you’d say was supposed to be your career.  So, if you wanted to fix old cars you’re supposed to be an auto mechanic.

Hopefully the reason that sounds familiar to you is because you can pick out movie quotes pretty easily and not because it’s a reflection of your life.  It’s a cliche.  I never spoke to my high school guidance counselor; I’m not even sure if my high school had one.  Frankly, I don’t think I’ve ever had a serious conversation about what I wanted to do with anyone.  Careers are a tough thing to get a handle on.  When somebody asks you what you do, do you just tell them where you work?  What your title is?  What you actually do?  Or do you make something up that sounds a little more impressive?  Are you happy with where you’ve ended up?  Is it at all what you imagined?  Does it even vaguely resemble what you would do if you had a million dollars?

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She Says

by Grace Crawford

All The King’s Speech images courtesy of Momentum Pictures and the Weinstein Company

Like you, Thom, I am an Anglophile. I love all things British, from their flag to their television programming to their remarkably civilized and emotionally understated mannerisms (they make tea in the middle of crises. How delightful). But perhaps one of the things I love best is their astonishingly photogenic royal family. Yes, I’m one of those people (but my practicality beats out my romanticism every time; for example, I watched Will and Kate’s wedding on YouTube like seven hours after it happened, because let’s be realistic here, they got married at like four in the morning my time and I like sleep more than I like them, no matter how adorable they are).

I’ve always had a fascination with royalty. Not in a “I want to wear a crown and have high tea every single day and make everyone call me a pretty princess” kind of way, but in a “how interesting these people are to study” kind of way. It seems so strange to me that, a long time ago, we chose people to be our leaders. And hundreds of years later, we exalted those people’s descendants to celebrity status, even if it occasionally ended in revolution and widespread destruction. Some people like the royals and some people don’t, and it’s become an increasingly common topic of conversation because of the aforementioned couple of Cambridge, whose engagement, marriage, and first child have completely dominated the media over the last few years.

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He Says

by Thom Yee

All Transformers the Movie images courtesy of Hasbro, Marvel Productions, Sunbow Productions, Toei Animation, and De Laurentiis Entertainment Group.

When I was growing up, I had a lot of friends.  Some good, some not so good, some who would eventually become bitter enemies.  But they all had ambitions.  They wanted to be somebody.  Some wanted to become policemen, some firemen, some wanted to work with computers.  One of them, even as a child, knew that he wanted to go into investment banking.  And even in my wavering, barely conscious understanding of who I was and who I was supposed to be, even I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up:

I wanted to be a Transformer.

I saw Transformers the Movie at just the right time for it to leave an indelible mark in the psyche of my older-on-the-inside young soul.  It’s a movie that I remember every part of almost word-for-word.  It had massive battles.  It had the hero’s journey in all of its reluctant-hero, supreme-ordeal, seizing-the-sword glory.  It even had undertones of romance as I’m sure there was something going on between the Autobots Springer and Arcee (the only canonical female Transformer that I’m aware of).

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He Says

by Thom Yee

Big Trouble in Little China images courtesy of 20th Century Fox

I don’t like to use the term “tour de force” very often, so when I say that “Big Trouble in Little China is a tour de force”, I mean it really is a “tour de force”.  To all fans of awesomeness as a non-ironic force of awesome, I can’t recommend Big Trouble in Little China enough.  It’s got everything — over-the-top action, ham-fisted romance, the Hell of the Upside Down Sinners.

It’s hard to explain what it is that makes Big Trouble in Little China so great, mostly because said explanation would require a scene-for-scene description and re-enactment of the entire movie because it’s all amazing.  I guess it all comes down to Kurt Russell’s Jack Burton, who, for lack of a better term, is a “tour de force” (am I using that right?).

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