We’ve ended the Endgame now

by Thom Yee

Spider-Man:  Far From Home images courtesy of Sony Pictures Releasing

Y’know what?  We are really, really, really lucky that Marvel and Sony got the whole Spider-Man thing straightened out.  Like, lucky as a culture.  Like, lucky as a people.  Like, lucky as a species.

For the time being at least.

It’s taken me a while to realize this, at least realize this fully with as much force and with as little doubt as I’m about to present here, but I’m finally ready to just say it:  I hate the original Spider-Man movies.  They’re dramatically overwrought and clichéd, their plots stretch out to the point of near total incredulity, and they feel so much more concerned with the idea of what a superhero movie is supposed to be that they get nowhere near what they can be.  Continue reading →

Miles Morales > Tom Holland > Andrew Garfield > Tobey Maguire

by Thom Yee

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse images courtesy of Sony Pictures Releasing

The theory of the multiverse suggests that there exists different universes parallel to our own. In at least one interpretation of the theory, the number of parallels continues to stretch out and grow into infinity. That means that there’s a universe where you, the reader of this purported review, and I, the writer of it, have not only met, but I may even have killed you in that universe (in fact, I probably would have killed you in most of them if we’re being honest; it’s just a personal flaw I have, a hair-trigger temper matched with a dedication to violence that I’m sure would transcend most universal barriers). But, with the concept of infinite parallel universes in mind, there are probably a lot of worlds in which I may have saved you from death as well (probably not the other way around, though; again, a lack of being saved is something I feel is probably close to a universal constant given my innate resistance to receiving help). And then, extrapolating with infinity in mind even further, all of that saving I could be doing in all of those other worlds could be with the aid of superpowers. I might have been bitten by a radioactive spider and not died from radiation poisoning [or my fear of spiders] but instead gained the proportionate strength(s) of a spider in one. Or I might share a telepathic link with a radioactive spider with whom I co-pilot a bio-mechanical spider suit in another. Or I might even be some sort of totemic spider spirit who imbues my chosen champions with the greatest virtues of the spider in another still. Or maybe you are instead. Or something. Or something else. Or something else still. Ad infinitum.

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Tom Holland > Andrew Garfield > Tobey Maguire

by Thom Yee

Spider-Man: Homecoming images courtesy of Sony Pictures

How do you feel about Spider-Man?  And I don’t mean “Spider-Man”, the series of movies that’s already gone through three reboots in less than 15 years because Sony, who bought the movie rights to the character from Marvel in 1999, has to rush a Spider-Man movie into production every few years or else the movie rights revert back to Marvel Studios, I mean the character — Spider-Man.  If you listened to J. Jonah Jameson, publisher/editor of New York’s most infamous newspaper, The Daily Bugle, you might think he’s a public menace.  If you were familiar with the comicbook lore, you’d most likely find him to be a misunderstood but friendly, neighbourhood hero, driven by guilt over the death of his uncle to responsibly use his powers for good.  But whenever I hear anyone talk about Spider-Man in real life?  They usually say they don’t like him.  I’ve never really liked him that much either.  And I think it’s all Tobey Maguire’s fault. Continue reading →