Opening this Weekend

Nothin’ yeeeet!

Box Office Predictions

  1. You did wipe down all your new groceries, right? To prevent the spread of infection?
  2. They say that Covid can live on metal for… like… ever. And on cardboard for… like… ever AND ever.
  3. I cleaned all the extra toilet paper I bought in a disinfectant solution.
  4. Now I just have to figure out how to dry it out before the next time I have to poop.
  5. Which feels like it’s going to be pretty soon.

What You Should See

We’re finally starting to hit the time where most of the new streaming/Video-on-Demand movies coming out are just the movies that were already scheduled rather than anything pushed out early due to pandemic, and so there are only two truly new movies I have to report on this week.

Trolls:  World Tour, which was originally scheduled to hit theatres April 10th (and then pushed up to February 14th and then back to April 17th and then back to April 10th again) never actually hit theatres and is now debuting exclusively to home streaming platforms for your viewing displeasure/I should be more fair and I’m sure kids will like it/but if you’re a full-blown adult you should be ashamed if you like it.

Landmark Cinemas is debuting its first ever virtual theatrical screening with The Etruscan Smile, which is… also a movie (it has Brian Cox!), and Metro Cinema is similarly continuing with its virtual screenings, adding Extra Ordinary and the Polish-language Corpus Christi, both of which are movies that I would probably at least see before The Etruscan Smile.  You can buy virtual tickets for The Etruscan Smile here, Extra Ordinary here, and Corpus Christi here, and actually I do plan to see Extra Ordinary sometime this year (it has Will Forte!).

Also, I want to draw your attention to Metro Cinema’s COVID-19 Emergency Support fundraising campaign, because we really are fortunate that we have an arthouse-style movie theatre here in Edmonton.  Now’s about the time I usually like to insert some joke to end the weekend previews off with, but no jokes this time because I want you to seriously consider donating.


Just enjoy the movie. It has Tom Berenger.