22 Wednesday Jan 2014
Posted in Television
Images courtesy of Bay & Thomas Productions and 20th Century Fox.
9×15: “Unpause”
This week’s episode began with a statement that we’ve become familiar with over the last eight years and that we all know to be true: “Nothing good happens after 2 a.m.”
Unless you mean The Mother going into labour in 2017 and Barney telling all his deepest secrets to Ted and Robin right now, that is.
15 Wednesday Jan 2014
Posted in Television
by Grace Crawford
Images courtesy of Bay & Thomas Productions and 20th Century Fox.
9×14: “Slapsgiving 3: Slappointment in Slapmarra”
I can’t remember how many times I’ve watched the gang sit around at McLaren’s while Barney tells some totally-made-up-but-he-still-says-it’s-a-true story. It’s got to be at least a thousand. He tries to pass off some supposedly legendary exploit as fact, and none of the rest of the gang is buying it, and no one backs him up. So we just assume it’s not true. And that’s happened at least a million times. What do you mean, a thousand? I’m pretty sure I said “a million.”
So it’s nice to see Barney getting a taste of his own medicine when Marshall tells the story of how he mastered the Slap of a Thousand Exploding Suns (SoaTES), spending a year in China to learn speed, strength, and accuracy from a trio of masters who look suspiciously like Robin, Lily, and Ted, if they were Asian stereotypes. And it’s hilarious seeing the group backing him up with things like, “Yes, Marshall spent a year in Shanghai,” and “Yes, I’ve heard of that magical forest; I backpacked there in college.”
But apart from that, this episode is seriously lacking in anything even remotely resembling humour.
11 Saturday Jan 2014
Posted in Editorials
I don’t like getting nostalgic.
Whenever I do, it feels like conceding weakness. “Oh, yeah, I miss that time way back when… man, wasn’t that a good time to be alive and doing things?” It seems like, once those things have happened, it’s time to move on and do other things that you’re not allowed to be nostalgic about, either.
For example, do I miss being a teenager? Yeah, sometimes I do. I miss life when it was less complicated. I miss not having it all figured out and having the freedom to be anything I wanted to be (except, like, a doctor or something, because I’m pretty sure you need more than a 67 in biology to be allowed to cut people up).
2013 was a year of figuring out what the rest of my life is going to look like. I know what I’m going to do and who I’m going to do it with. I have a plan. I have goals. Hell, I even have finances now, like I’m some kind of grown-up or something. When did that happen? Last I checked, I was a twenty-something just trying to get through university without having another mental breakdown. Then I looked up, realized I was going to graduate in four months and plan out what was going to happen after that, and discovered I was actually (however mildly) prepared to cope with it.
But this isn’t about life. It’s about movies.
23 Monday Dec 2013
Posted in Films
Tags
Images courtesy of New Line Cinema, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, WingNut Films, and Warner Bros. Pictures.
Desolation, n. a state of complete emptiness or destruction.
Doesn’t it annoy you when people pick a word, maybe not even a particularly fitting word, to define an entire subject and then begin a discussion with a dictionarial definition of that word? Doesn’t it seem pedantic? Doesn’t it seem… almost sm[a]ug?
It’s been a while since I saw The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. And it’s been even longer since I read the book. So I have no right to be smaug, or even just plain smug, about anything to do with this movie, and I’m pretty sure some fans are going to take umbrage with my subject matter. In my defence, I mentioned last time how difficult it was to write reviews for epic-length movies, and I still stand by that statement. There’s just so much action, so many characters, and so much plot development to keep track of that it all boggles the mind a bit. But let’s try to dive into that, shall we?
19 Thursday Dec 2013
Posted in Television
Images courtesy of Bay & Thomas Productions and 20th Century Fox.
9×13: “Bass Player Wanted”
If you read my last review, you know that I wasn’t particularly happy with the way the rehearsal dinner went. It was fine, yes, but there was nothing really good about it. So I really wasn’t expecting to enjoy this episode as much as I did—until the Mother showed up. I was pretty much hooked from that moment on.
It was Marshall versus the Machine once again, and he trudged down a country road while carrying his son and a suitcase. Then a van pulled up behind him, and who should be driving but my new best friend? She mentions that she’s the bass player in the band that’s playing the Farhampton wedding that weekend, but that she used to be the lead singer and is now about to be kicked out. Oh, and the van isn’t hers—it belongs to “the devil.”
17 Tuesday Dec 2013
Posted in Television
Images courtesy of Bay & Thomas Productions and 20th Century Fox.
9×12: “The Rehearsal Dinner”
This episode begins with Barney handcuffed to a pipe in a laser tag security office. And that’s probably the highest point of the episode.
Remember back in season 9 when Robin planned Barney’s bachelor party and made it the worst night of his entire life? What you didn’t know is that, only a few short nights later, Barney announced that he was calling the wedding off and kicking Robin out of his apartment because he couldn’t handle the idea of marriage.
Nope, just kidding. Apparently Barney thinks that’s an awesome idea for a return prank, and as a result of such an excellent prank, Robin must be planning to get him back. And after he suggests the idea of a laser tag rehearsal dinner, obviously she’s going to plan that as a surprise for him. And excuse me for a second while I write that down, because frankly that idea is gold.
30 Saturday Nov 2013
Posted in Films
All Catching Fire images courtesy of Color Force and Lionsgate.
Catching Fire, the sequel to the somewhat-loved and somewhat-hated Hunger Games, is getting all kinds of awesome reviews all over the place. People love it because it adheres to the book pretty strictly, which is very true, and I applaud them for that. It can be difficult to stay true to a book (*cough*PrisonerofAzkaban*cough*), especially when it’s one jammed full of so much action.
Following the events of the 74th Annual Hunger Games, the districts are revolting against their Capitol oppressors. They look to Katniss and her act with the berries as an example of defiance, and President Snow personally comes down to District 12 to ask—well, threaten—Katniss to keep everyone in line by setting a different kind of example. So she tries to be the very example of Capitol loyalty, but this blows up in her face as the people of the districts only grow more and more angry at her obvious performance.
26 Tuesday Nov 2013
Posted in Television
Images courtesy of Bay & Thomas Productions and 20th Century Fox.
9×10–11: “Mom and Dad”, “Bedtime Stories”
I feel like every review I write for this show is now turning into some big commentary on life, the universe, and everything, but that can’t really be helped. See, that’s the point of this show: it’s relatable to everyone, no matter where you are in life. Unless you’re in prison, in which case this isn’t relevant to your life at all, and if that’s the case please don’t send me any creepy emails.
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