Opening this Weekend
Box Office Predictions
- There is no box office
- They’re not reporting numbers
- I have nothing to express here
- Move on to the next section
- This part is done
What You Should See
Y’know, it’s actually kind of hard to stay on top of all the major new movies coming out on streaming these days while we’re all stuck at home as we are slowly going crazy, one-two-three-four-five-six, switch!/slowly going crazy are we, six-five-four-three-two-one, switch!
Oh for the time when it was okay to touch your face. My eyes are so itchy right now!
Anyway, last week major new/early to streaming movies made up a relatively small list that could be counted on one hand, but this week it kind of feels like everything came out. New additions include Onward, that unexpectedly became available late last Friday night, a bunch of movies on Tuesday, including Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn), Dolittle, The Gentlemen, Bloodshot, The Way Back, and weirdo sci-fi/Jesse Eisenberg movie Vivarium Christian romance movie I Still Believe are slated to be available in one form or another today. And perhaps a little more interesting are Metro Cinema’s virtual screenings of the Mandarin-language Wild Goose Lake and Portuguese-language Bacurau. Purchase home screenings through Film Movement and half your fee will go to Metro Cinema.
Of that list, I know I’m planning to watch The Gentlemen, Vivarium, The Way Back, and Onward at least, and I might make time for Bloodshot if only because it looks exactly like the kind of movie I can put on while reading something else and not miss too much. And I’m going to strongly recommend against Birds of Prey, which I would have to call probably the worst superhero movie of the modern, post-Batman Begins era. It’s unremarkable to a fault, boring despite being made up almost entirely of action scenes, it betrays all the actual Birds of Prey comicbook characters, takes a highly questionable and ultimately Cassandra Cain, who’s a really cool character in the comics, and feels very much like a borderline first draft copy that never got fixed for humour, action, or having anything original or meaningful to say. If you want a good Harley Quinn, watch the Adult Swim cartoon. It’s quirky and funny and bubbly but in a really dark way, and unlike the movie Harley Quinn, it’s whip-smart. #KaleyCuocoIsTheRealHarleyQuinn
Oh, and, as always, I Still Believe doesn’t count for obvious reasons.