Opening this Weekend



Assassin’s Creed


Why Him?


La La Land


Theater of Life

Gimme Danger

This Weekend’s Box Office Predictions

  1. Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
  2. Sing
  3. Passengers
  4. Assassin’s Creed
  5. Why Him?

What You Should See

It’s actually a really interesting weekend for new releases, with 10 new movies in all to capture your attention if you include this past Wednesday’s new releases, Sing, Passengers, and Assassin’s Creed. Of course critically I can’t give you a good reason to stretch your attention that far back since two of the three are apparently atrocious (and the other one’s Sing, which I would never recommend because “no”). Lion, Why Him?, and Jackie are the only movies that actually open today, Friday, and, unlike the preceding three releases, there are reasons to see two of the three (and so just Why Him? is apparently atrocious). Lastly for major new releases, we have La La Land and Fences opening on Christmas Day (because it’s only right that those overpaid, corrupt, fat cat/union movie theatre employees should have to work Christmas), and while it’s easy to recommend La La Land (93% of critics do), I’m going to have to recommend against Fences (which, as of this writing 93% of critics also recommend) because I hate movies that feel like plays (they’re not the same thing!) and I hate parents who hate their own children even more. It’s not your job to hate your kids, parents, it’s everybody else’s job to hate your kids (and we do). Meanwhile, you may or may not consider this Boxing Day Monday part of a long weekend, but if you do and you’re looking for something new, Gimme Danger opens on Monday at Metro Cinema and plays until Thursday. It’s by Jim Jarmusch(!).

Finally, we have Theater of Life, the movie we’ve been talking up for most of the past month, partially because we were able to see it ahead of time and already have our review of it up (y’know, as if we were a real publication [y’know, as if there were such a thing anymore]) but mostly because you should actually see it. It hasn’t exactly hit a critical consensus yet, but we liked it. And that’s all that really matters. It too is showing at Metro Cinema, starting Friday.