Opening this Weekend
This Weekend’s Box Office Predictions
- Kung Fu Panda 3
- The Revenant
- Star Wars: The Force Awakens
- The Finest Hours
- Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
What You Should See
There’s the “old, unconnected movies gathered together for some bewildering reason” event we mentioned two weeks ago — which we’ve since learned is Cineplex’s Great Digital Film Festival) — a documentary about the Black Panthers, and a multiple-awards-nominated Brit movie opening this weekend, and that’s all great and all of those things deserve attention.
But then there’s the new movies this weekend. Of the three, I can only recommend Hail, Caesar!, and even then only to a certain type of film fan (i.e., the type of person who considers themself a film fan rather than just a moviegoer). Then there’s some Jane-Austen-oriented zombie movie that’s three-and-a-half years too late to the Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter joke that didn’t work even back then and some romantic, Nicholas Sparks movie no one’s heard of with no one more famous than the guy from Smallville.
I say no. I say not to all of that. I say let’s evolve. Let the chips fall where they may, f*ck these new movies, and just go see Big Trouble in Little China while it’s in theatres again.