Opening this Weekend

Red Sparrow

Death Wish

The Party

Revolting Rhymes

Mom and Dad

Box Office Predictions

1. Black Panther
2. Red Sparrow
3. Death Wish
4. Game Night
5. Peter Rabbit

What You Should See

I’ve got thoughts on each of this weekend’s new movies, varied thoughts and quite brilliant thoughts really, but not much excitement if I’m being honest, and certainly not enough excitement to try to corral those thoughts into a coherent narrative, so if you’re feeling kind of tired from a long week at work or you’re just too bleary eyed to think about any one thing for more than a few seconds, here’s the gist:  You can stay at home this weekend.

If you do want to see a movie though, here’s what’s happening:

• Red Sparrow looks okay but is, I’m told, terrible. And unconvincing.  And boring.  So maybe wait for the Black Widow  I’m sure that’ll happen sometime this century.
• I can’t believe they had the temerity to make a Death Wish remake and didn’t even try to make it good. I mean, it already looked pretty bad, and I guess I’ve never actually liked anything from Eli Roth, but still… did it have to be that bad?
• I don’t care how well The Party is rated, I don’t care how much you might be interested in its subject matter, I don’t care how much you might love the cast, I just can’t recommend it for one very simple reason: Handheld cam.  Seriously movie makers, hold the camera f*cking camera still, no movie is worth me feeling nauceous, especially not one that looks like it’s taking place inside one house during a dinner party between friends!
• Finally, Nicolas Cage has come back to the big screen! Mom and Dad actually looks pretty interesting with its homicidal parents motif, but it looks more like one of those movies you should see sometime rather than one you need to see this time.
• And finally, we have Revolting Rhymes. It’s the only new movie this weekend that looks actually good.  It’s only playing on Friday though.