Opening this Weekend

Sonic the Hedgehog

Fantasy Island

The Photograph

Downhill

Come to Daddy

Matthias & Maxime

The Money

Box Office Predictions

  1. Sonic the Hedgehog
  2. Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)
  3. Fantasy Island
  4. The Photograph
  5. Bad Boys for Life

What You Should See

Sonic!  He can really move!  Sonic!  He’s got an attitude!  Sonic!  He’s the fastest thing ali-ee-ive!

For a job that seems, from the outside, pretty cushy, by far the worst part of being a movie reviewer would have to be seeing every movie.  There may be movies reviewers are looking forward to, there may be movies reviewers are frightened by or even dreading, but there’s that special set of movies that are becoming all too common that are part of a very specific class:  Movies that generate nothing but apathy.  And that’s why I’m often glad I’m not a movie reviewer.

Now why am I mentioning that in a roundup of this Family Day long weekend’s new releases?  Because you may think you know a lot about apathy, but not like this.  Not like a Sonic the Hedgehog movie.  Not like a Fantasy Island remake/reboot/TV-to-movie-fication disaster in the making.  Not like a clearly-pandering-to-the-Valentine’s-Day-crowd-and-reviews-are-embargoed-till-its-release-date movie like The Photograph.  Not like a terribly reviewed, barely feature-length Will Ferrell comedy that most of us probably won’t even remember was a thing a month from now like Downhill.

Slightly more interesting are the Xavier-Dolan-directed Matthias & Maxime, only at the downtown Landmark on Monday, and the Arabic The Money, only on Sunday at Metro Cinema.  And the Elijah-Wood-led horror comedy Come to Daddy, playing only on Sunday and Monday at Metro Cinema actually looks pretty deranged.  So I guess what I’m saying, if I’m saying anything, is that the proper way to celebrate this long weekend with your family is to go see a messed-up-looking, weirdo movie called Come to Daddy.

Oh, and Happy Valentine’s Day!  Everybody loves being reminded it’s Valentine’s Day!  It’s not a minor inconvenience to those in relationships and a haunting reminder of loneliness to those not!  It’s not a terrible day that does more harm than good or anything!  I’m not bitter, you’re bitter!